Lately, I’ve had a ton of stress over how my 11 year old daughter is trying to dress. The biggest issue is that she doesn’t realize what’s wrong because it seems like everyone else dresses that way. It seems normal to her. And it is normal, but that is what creates the issue. Why is it all of a sudden acceptable for her 11 & 12 year old peers to dress in clothes that are considered borderline (or even fully) inappropriate on the 18+ crowd? Why do parents continue to try to be friends to their kids, rather than being examples of respectability and responsibility?
I do understand the struggle of finding age appropriate clothing for children. After all, when we go clothes shopping, my wife and I find ourselves asking if we’re being unreasonable when rack after rack after rack is filled with very skimpy clothes. And I already know the answer – absolutely not. Fashion trends are set by those who want to be fashionable and everyone knows that sex sells. Unfortunately, people are complete fucking idiots when fashion designers are selling sex to our children. I see women chatting with each other, exclaiming how cute these little pieces of slutwear are and why? Because they want their daughters to look like little versions of themselves and they want to live vicariously through them as these mothers age and fight their own images of wrinkled skin, stretchmarks and baby-pudge bellies. We plaster images of so-called perfection on magazines and TV and women develop self esteem issues because they don’t want their husbands and boyfriends to stray. It’s a huge, fucked up social problem and I know that this post won’t fix that.
Instead, I propose (,beg and plead) that we allow women to use fashion, makeup and accessories to accentuate their own natural beauty, rather than trying to sexualize those features. Because guess what ladies – men will still find you sexy as hell. As a matter of fact, we will find you respectfully sexy and that’s way better than dirty sexy. Time after time, I see females complain about not being able to find a good man. These same females use sexual imagery (dark makeup, cleavage selfies and sexual enticement pictures) all over their social media pages to try and lure men in. It is desperate and unattractive. Well, let me correct myself, it is absolutely attractive, but only for one purpose. Men will chase those women based on a certain guise and when they get what they came for, they will get bored after awhile and try to find a new toy. Trust me – I used to do this. My friends used to do this. Every single guy in every single bar in America is currently doing this. The fact is, when you flaunt physicality, you should only expect a person to be attracted to your physicality.
That is the example that most of our children see. ‘That girl gets any guy she wants’. Yes, she does. And then he moves on to the next girl that gets any guy she wants. And then on to the next one. Think about it. How many cleavage pics do you have on your Facebook page? And how many failed relationships have you had. You can blame men all you want, but you are your own common denominator to all of your problems. And what’s worse is that if you’re a mother, you’re repeating a cycle that your child sees.
From a male perspective (even if only subconsciously for many), if you flaunt your intelligence, you will attract those who are interested in your mind. If you flaunt your artistry, you attract those who are interested in your creativity. If you flaunt your athleticism, you will attract those who are interested in athletics. So of course, if you flaunt your sexual features, what do you think you will attract? See how that works? And guess what – your children will emulate your behavior.
But Odd Papa, I’m not smart. I’m not creative. I’m not physically fit. My only assets are wrapped up in sexuality. What am I to do?
Take some responsibility for yourself and put in a little work to become that thing that you want someone to see in you. It really is that simple. Women are always quick to blame men for sexualization of women, but we don’t buy your clothes for you. We think you are beautiful in a vast array of styles, but you choose to sexualize yourselves and if a man says anything about it, we become the subject of a militant feminist attack. That is what our daughters see. They see you objectifying your own body, then blaming men for actually being attracted to what is on display. What a mind-fuck these fragile little girls must be going through. Especially when compounded by the idea that when they finally try to figure out the physical part that males are being attracted to, a simple Google search will bring up millions of videos of guys ‘finishing’ on their faces.
I really don’t know what to do when faced with this kind of opposition, but I do know one thing: I love my daughter and will continue to fight your ridiculous fashion trends. I’ll let her know that whorish behavior will only make people see her as a whore and that respectful behavior will make people see her as a respectful person.