For the past 3 years, I have been living the best part of my life. I reconnected with someone who I am ridiculously in love with, I have separated from all the ghetto drama that I used to have to deal with and I have more freedom to live my life as I feel it should be lived. I know people sometimes think wrong about me and maybe feel like I have abandoned them or have turned my back on them or whatever other reason that they may be upset with me for not being around as much as I used to. I’ve come to terms with that and I make no apologies for it. I had lived my life for other people for about 30 years and I feel that it’s OK for me to finally be a little selfish. My body hurts randomly throughout the day from all the stress I have put on it over the years in servitude of others, so I think I deserve to take the time to let myself be happy.
When Sara & I aren’t at work or doing other things that are “required of us”, we have this amazing new life together where we sit down at dinner as a family, play board games with the kids and sit by a backyard fire and just stare at the stars, quietly holding each others’ hands. We make handmade jewelry and t-shirts that we sell online (and not really for the money – it doesn’t pay that well, trust me), we go to punk rock shows together and feel like kids again when we do, we get to watch good hockey for free, I have an awesome job, we brew beer at home, I found a ton of cool bands while I was putting together the Ear Infection compilation, I like my neighbors (which is a first in my life), and we have been having alot of serious talk about opening a store together. We take amazing trips together and have fun photographic excursions all over the region. Oh yeah! and we built an awesome tree house that the kids love. We have kept ourselves busy and focused on so many things, how or why would I have the time to submerge myself in areas where there could be potential drama?
When we leave our personal bubble, we do it for things like going to work – which for me is cool, but for her can be very miserable and I’ve had to dry tears on several occasions because of it, taking my stepson to hockey practice – and if any of you have dealt with sports parents and youth hockey staff, you know how much the attitudes fly and how fake and horrible people can be, we have been in and out of court over custody of my two kids and there is no end in sight over that stuff yet and just dealing with the mothers of my kids is a nightmare in itself – one just collects a child support check and leaves her parents to raise my daughter while I have the room and better opportunity for her and the other feeds my son’s head full of confusing manipulative bullshit while trying everything possible to use him a weapon to attack me.
When we go out into the world, I see people who only follow the masses and form no real opinions for themselves. I see political slander that consistently strays minds from the actual issues and people fall for this scheme EVERY TIME. I see an America full of people that have grown lazy and weak and always choose to point out the flaws of others than to accept responsibility of their own actions. It’s disgusting.
With a contrast like this, why would I ever want to leave our bubble and go out into the world? I love my life and I wish other people would take the time to build something they could love about their lives too because I don’t need their negative bullshit seeping into my day anymore.