I don’t function well when I feel like things are out of my control. A lot of anger has been caused in this house when outside influences that cannot be reasoned with have wreaked havoc on our life. I don’t like it. I never will.
I will, however, do my best to cope with it. There used to be days when arguing felt like the only outlet for the feelings that were pent-up. Stomping through the house with a scowl on my face, though, never led to anything productive. It did lead to some yelling and pounding and then eventual not talking for an evening. After any of these arguments I found myself looking for SOMETHING that I could solely control in that moment. Most often – I wound up alone, in our bedroom, folding the laundry. It was mindless and repetitive. It could be done with the TV on in the background. It turns out – it was remarkably calming. It was also exactly what I needed in those moments.
Today, instead of using this as therapy after an argument I’ve started using it as a method to AVOID the argument. I know, novel idea, right? The argument was never necessary – it didn’t help. It never made any of us feel any better. Talking about it, in normal tones and volume – that would be productive. Turns out, for me to be able to do that, I have to calm down a little first. Someone go grab me a basket of laundry!
Seriously, though, we all need to find good ways to cope with stress and anxiety. This happens to be one I never expected to use. To keep happiness levels up, though, it’s working like a charm. On top of that, I’m usually not left drowning in baskets of laundry in our bedroom anymore! Bonus! And if I am – well, that means that things must be going well. So I’ll live with it.